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It is official.  You may now address me as Bernard Dragon, Her Majesty, sir.  Or don’t address me at all, peasant scum.  Just go fetch my cashmere face wipe.

 

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estoyesmaya:

So I made a tie for my cockatiel Boku, but then this happened. 

At last, one of my brethren in his natural form.

(via yousuredolovecock)

Source: estoyesmaya
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Don’t worry, Jeeves loves being physically abused. Almost as much as I love physically abusing him.

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Has your human bought you almond milk yet?  I like to drink it, then bathe in it, then spray it around the room, then follow with a bit of book for dessert.  Sure, it costs a fortune, but I’m worth it.

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My human thought it would be amusing to put my most embarrassing photos on the internet.  I thought it’d be hilarious to poop on her mirror while she was looking at herself.  Now she sees what I see.

Don’t laugh.  I just want you to hear it from me before it becomes widely circulated through the media.

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Ah a lovely snooze on a rainy day under the table on my human’s warm, bare, bloody, scratched leg, what could be finer…um…What. Is. That. I said NO PICTURES PLEASE.

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Every time my human slave tries to do something nice, like read a book, I remind her that I am much more important.

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The last thing my enemies ever see.

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chriscockatiel:

Paperclip is so much fun. on Flickr.

What a glam look!  I must say, you look a lot like me!

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